Banana Misses Malaysia..

Haih.. sien... workload so high, so many things to do... Pengsan... Pengsan.....

I miss my family, i miss my niece , i miss Malaysia, i miss LRT with humans, i miss traffic jam with humans...

Tortures in Hell.

Just remembered something i want write about hell.

There was this story about a man that went to hell (Yalah, another hell story. I teremember when writing the previous blog).

The devil offered him 3 punishment to choose from.

In the first Door. The man saw a man lying on a bed full of nails. There was a board on his chest saying "Lying on Nail the rest of Eternity"

Wahh..... Mah Hou Thung??? He asked the devil.....
And the devil just smiled...... cause.......
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He dunno cantonese.


Then off to the second door the man went...... and when he opend it... he saw a man standing on fire...... On the man's crouch hung a board saying "Standing on Fire for the rest of Eternity".


He saw the man... wah.. need to stand on fire the rest of my life ark.... Can really die.. How to tahan?

So now the devil mah open the third door loh......

There he saw something very funny... An old man was buried till neck in a pool of shit. What's odd is there is a cup of tea beside this old man.

So Hoh.... the man mah think la "This one at least busuk only, not painfull i think i can tahan all my life liddis gua"

OK.. so he mah close deal with the devil loh.... he say "I want the third door, the one with shit one, that one not so painfull"

So the devil mah ok loh..... And the man went in the third room and submerge himself in the Pool full of shit along with the old man. He was thinking loh "Ok ark..... smelly only ark... i can take this for the rest of eternity".

After 10 mins... a bell rang and the devil came in.
He said
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"Ok!!! Tea time is over, continue your punishment!!!"

So the old man turn himself upsidedown with his leg up. On his leg was a board writing "Eat Shit for the Rest of Eternity" . =)

PS: Picture courtesy of "How things Work"

Power of Foreign Exchange.

(Eilzabeth Hurley... my Fav Devil)

Have u heard of the joke of Heaven and Earth? Here's how it goes.

A man died and went to the gates of heaven. There was an angel there and their conversation goes something like this :

Angel : Where would you want to go ? Heaven or Hell?
Dead Man : Hmmm, can i have a tour of the both before i decide?
Angel: Sure..... Sure.....

So the man first went to hell for a day to visit the place. All his old friends was there, looking healthy and wearing branded clothes and all. They had a party with him all night and he was really happy being the star of the party.

Then the next morning, he went to heaven. There he saw his old uncle Ben, Aunt Marta and they talked to him about life for the whole day.

The next day, he went to meet the angel again. And :
Angel : Have you decided where would you want to spend your eternity? Heaven or Hell.
Dead Man: Since Hell is much more fun.. i ll go there~~!!

So down to hell the man went For Eternity. But when he got there, all his friends was infested with deseases and their clothes were all torn. The was shocked and asked what happened?

They answered - That was the condition of hell when we wanted to get u here. Now that we got you here, this is the actual scenario.

------- this is exactly what happen to us in KUWAIT... niaseng!! i lost RM600 -RM800 because one idiot was to "confused" and didnt tell us anything at all. STUPIDD!!!! YOU PAY ME BACK MY PSP !! Niaseng!! Harmgarling

Banana in Kuwait

<-- Banana




IN




<-- Kuwait.






Well, today roughly marks the 3rd month im away from Malaysia(Actually 22nd already passed few days ago).

Life in kuwait.. well, mostly work work... and work.. There are alot of shopping malls here and some funny restaurant name.

<--Tipu Sultan restaurant. %!@$@#!@ cannot take picture correctly.
Luckily im not a sultan, so i dont get cheated.

There was another clinic called Lari Clinic... but that one, havent take picture.






Good thing about kuwait:
1. People in car always gives way to you when u cross the street... In Malaysia, u can prepare for roadkill.
2. Rarely any robbery happens. Even the money changer puts their money on display on a very thin glass window.

Bad things about kuwait:
1. People always think asian are the store keeper and ask "Do you have XXXL for these?"
2. Dont go out on fridays, my collegue saw some local kid got slashed in a local mall.
3. You easily overlook the price not remembering that u need to multiply by 13 in order to get Malaysia equilvalent.
4. Girls can't wear short pants, else will kena phewit (really sanbalou)
5. The local officer would ask why are male and female holding hands? (Because we are not Homo?) Duhhh
6. A diagnosis and treatment for Uric Acid costs me more than RM500....

I think this banana soon gonna be Lan Chiu(Definition of Lan chiu can be found in previous post) already...

What is a banana?

Banana..... what is a banana. Its probably the most the most know fruit in the world. Usually eaten when the color turns yellow.

<--- Cannot seee meh? Now what does a banana means in chinese? According to my mathematics teacher in highschool it was explained as follows:

Mr. Chong: Lu orang tak kenapa olang cina tak tau cina panggil Pisang (You know why chinese which doesnt know how to speak or read chinese are called banana?)

Mr. Chong: Kerana HOh, you tengok itu pisang!! dia kuning, tapi bila bukak dalam putih (Because if you see a banana, it is yellow, but when u open inside its white)

Mr. Chong: Aiyoh, maciam itu tak paham? Orang cina kulit kuning mah, orang putih kulit putih. You tengok itu orang macam cina, tapi isi putih. Itu Kung chiu laaa. (You dont understand that? Its because chinese are yellow skinned, while westerners are white skinned. The person looks chinese, but he only knows english. Thats a banana!!!)

And that is why chinese who only knows English are called as Banana.

Bananas have alot of different callings in chinese as follows:

1. Kung Chiu - Literally means Male Banana. Do not use this term in hongkong... as they would answer you "I have been selling fruits for years, yet i have not found a method to identify if a banana is male or female".

2. Heong Chiu - Literally means fragrant Banana. U may use this term in both Malaysia and Hong kong.

3. Lan Chiu - Means rotten banana. This is a very sensitive term. Any mispronunciation could lead to a desasterous ending. Stick to Heong Chiu.

4. KuKu Chiau - Direct translation means Aunty's Banana, actual means is your "Ding Dong". However, never ever use this term. (When will there be a time in life you would be referring to your auntie's banana?)

And thats why!!! -